Feels Like Love

by Inside Joke

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The inventor of Joke-Hop music takes it to a new level! Featuring the world famous song about Kentucky's "Turtleman" as well as a remix of "Carpet On Ya Chest" with legend Ronald Jenkees. This is the album that changes the game!

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released June 1, 2009

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Inside Joke Lexington, Kentucky

What started out as an "inside joke" has turned into a world-wide movement... sort of. From Lexington, KY, Inside Joke takes rap music back to the days when it was fun, made you dance, and actually rhymed! At the same time, Inside Joke brings a new school vibe, spirituality at times, and a little country grammar to boot! ... more

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Track Name: Carpet On Ya Chest (Old School Sexy Mix)
1. Carpet On Ya Chest (Old School Sexy Mix)
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Bobby Perry and Inside Joke

Chorus:
If you got a carpet on ya chest say hey! "Hey!"
If you got a carpet on ya chest say ho! "Ho!"
If you got a carpet on ya chest say hey! "Hey!"
If you got a carpet on ya chest say ho! "Ho!"
I take my shirt off, cause it helps me stay humble
But come to find out I be making the girls stumble
Where I'm from a hairy chest be out
But apparently around here a hairy chest will give ya clout
Take for example, just the other day
I was running around my block just to stay in shape
As usual no shirt, thinking nothing of it
Little did I know the college girls be loving it
I was thinking, "It's so nice to run with my shirt off"
When I hear this girl yell, "David Hasselhoff!"
Was she talking to me? You know she be!
Looking at me dreaming of Hasselhoff on da beach
Chorus:
I remember when my homeboy "Morg" dared me to shave it
All the trash cans in the world couldn't contain it
It was all over the floor, all over the counter
"Morg" had never seen this amount of
Chest hair...as I was shaving
When I was through yo the feeling was amazing
I be feeling the same thing the Indians be feeling
Silky smooth chest yo you best be believing
That I looked good my chest was gleaming
Two weeks later all I was doing was screaming
Call my boy "Morg," Yo i was ticked
No more silky-smooth, all i feel is itch
And after the pain left, you know it came back
No more out-door carpet it was a shag attack
Five years later more than ever that's a fact
Last time i checked it was creeping on my back
Chorus:
This ain't no happy trail, I got a magic carpet
My baby's momma be the only one to ride on it
Most of my friends don't understand my zeal
But then again they don't look like George The Animal Steele
So when it comes to you, Yo what's your deal?
Shaving your pecks? Man you can't be for real
I be getting looks all around, below, and above
My hair so long I could donate to Locks of Love
In L.A., they thought i was Austin Power's cuzz
Ladies on the beach saying "Did you see who dat was?"
You know it was me, the J O K to the E
All you Ambercrombie models don't impress me
Baring your boring, hairless chest for all to see
Man please! You need to hit puberty
Going to the beach with your sunscreen, not me
50 SPF from God
Grow you some hair fool, cause hair is a must!
You be washing with soap, i got to use Pert Plus
Now my hair be shinning gleaming with that silky smooth feeling
I even got them boys from Jodeci "feenin"
Track Name: Feels Like Love (feat. Due Season)
2. Feels Like Love
Words By Inside Joke and Trent Owens
Music By Bobby Perry, Inside Joke Trent Owens
Guitars by John Hatfield

February 14, 1989
That day be forever sired into my mind
That's the day I went to my first middle school dance
Rocked a clip on tie, suit jacket and pants
To top it off, I had my first date with a hunny
Took me a whole month to tell my moms and my poppy
Practiced dancing in secret so no one could top me
Emulating all the moves of Whitney and Bobby
Even got my girl a wrist corsage
Flower so big take up most of her forearm
Shaved for the first time, put on some hair gel
Come down the stairs, mom says I'm looking swell
Trying to get out the door, don't wanna be late
The phone rings... Yo! it's my date
"Can't wait to see you" is what she said
My palms all sweaty and I'm thinking in my head...
Chorus:
It feels like love (x4)
My moms drops me off, I nervously go inside
Pay my 2 dollars head straight for the guys
At the snack table, downing Cheeto Puffs and soda
Everybody's cologne combining for one nasty oder
Oh shoot, there's my girl chatting with her friends
Don't know what to say so I pretend
That, I don't see her as I'm chilling on the wall
Milli Vanilli bumping but know one dancing at all
"Go dance with her!," my homies give the dare
They push me onto the dance floor, I'm the only one there
Act like i don't care, as all the girls stare
Next thing you know they're heading to the bathroom in pairs
Try my best not to look as she strolls by my way
But it's too late, eye contact is made
She's just waved at me, Uh Oh now she's winking
I'm feeling all tingly and now I'm thinking...
Chorus:
The DJ playing Bust A Move
I muster up the nerve and that is what I do
Walk across the cafeteria she's standing there
Try to find the words, as I'm staring at her poofy hair
"Would you like to dance?" I managed to say
"Yeah!" she said, then I showed her the way
To the dance floor, the DJ's playing Richard Marx
"I'll be Waiting For You" I hear the song start
Not sure what to do, but what the heck
I put my hands around her hips she put her arms around my neck
Then we start move side to side to the beat
Trying to make sure that I don't step on her feet
But that was easy, cause we be standing far away
Moving in constant circles as we sway
"Does it feel OK the way I'm dancing here?"
She leaned over and whispered in my ear...
Track Name: Inside Out (feat. Cassius Clay)
3. Inside Out
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Bobby Perry
Additional Vocals by Cassius Clay

Yo, he working on my so I clap it out
The changes on the inside making me shout
If he's the living water, my mouth is the spout
Spitting rhymes so you won't be without
An explanation of what The Joke is all about
It's not my crew, but its Him that give me clout
The changes on the inside got me on a different route
Viewing each day like the title bout
Chorus:
Now if He working on ya, from the inside out clap it out
Clap it out. Clap it out
Now if He working on ya from the inside out clap it out
Clap it out and shout "Oooh Wheee!"
I wear my shirt inside out so I won't forget
that He ain't through, He ain't gonna quit
A work in progress, He ain't don with me yet
These changes on the inside be legit
Yeah, I got one-three, on the keys
Hooked up with FCA, met the JOKE
Laid down some tracks so that you can see
That we're talking about more than just a camp theme
For real, we be changing like metamorphosis
Got long line of witnesses that support this
"B.P" like a new man--shore is
Had plans for our life, now our plans are His
Chorus:
Yo, it's like in a game when the press is on
The enemy be on you like the jersey you got on
You need a three, but you can't get free
Got to first go inside to attract the "D"
Yeah! Inside Out, it works every time
Get the ball inside and spot the shooter up behind the line
And that's the priority for God you see
You Got to first go inside for personal victory
Track Name: Grand Marquis
4. Grand Marquis
Words and Music by Inside Joke
Additional Vocals by Kevin Schuer

Several yeas ago was doing some car shopping
Not very pumped about the cash that I be dropping
When baby's momma got a call
"How about you buy my car?" it was her Grandpa!
Now before I proceed I think you got to understand
Buying a sweet ride, was The Joke's plan
So when the offer came, I said "no way"
But then he made an offer we couldn't turn away
So here I am the owner of Mercury
I don't believe this is what Allan Jackson mean
Cuz I'm floating down the road, homies laughing at me
With an airbrushed license plate of his doxin "Barnie"
Yeah, "Are them chrome rims? Everybody asking
Shoot I wish, my rims are made of plastic
Now I truly be the J O K E
The for the foreseeable near future i'll be rolling in a Grand Marquis
Chorus:
He's Got a Mercury Grand Marquis (repeat)
M-e-r-c-u-r-y
We ain't talking about the planet, we're talking about my ride
And that's why, I'm getting love that is out of this world
From all the old ladies with the silver curls (holla!)
Yeah, I am the youngest man owning a Mercury
Big, long, and red: it's a Grand Marquis
And if you think I'm joking wait and see
Check the age of other owners and you'll believe
That there ain't no young folk driving these
Unless they rolling undercover for the state police
In fact, that's who most think we are
People see me coming and they pull over their car
All worried that they just caught for speeding
It''s true what they say, looks can be deceiving
Because I ain't the "po po" and never will be
I just happen to get hook up on a Mercury Grand Marquis
Chorus:
Several years into it, Man it's turned out good
Nice roomy ride, V8 under the hood
Best of all I can roll six deep
Who would have known the back seat fits three car seats!
Little G be saying, "Daddy i love this ride
I got Emma on the right and Kendy to my side"
Shoot it ain't called "Grand" for nothing
Bench seat in front allowing for some loving
Ha ha, yeah! You know the trunk is big
If the man takes our house in the trunk we could live
And I just finished getting it all jacked up
Curb finders on the side for when I back up
Four flat screens rollin up onto the scene
Now if there be laughing now its coming from me
"How much will take for it? "Man please
This be Inside Joke's Grand Marquis
Track Name: The Turtleman Rap
5. The Turtleman Rap
Words and Music by Inside Joke
Additional Words by Ernie Brown Jr. (The Turtleman)

Let me tell you about Kentucky's best kept secret
The Turtle Man's a man you have got to see to believe it
He's one quarter Shawnee, one quarter Cherokee,
One quarter Confederate, the last quarter Yankee
People think he's crazy but they can't help but like him
No drugs or alcohol will you find inside of him
Yet he still will be crawling around up in slimy ponds
Kindly like a sight using his arm as a magic wand
Arm extended, looking for bubbles in the water
Soon as he find em, man he be on em
Catching snappers his his game, KY Afield brought him fame
Got everybody in the nation knowing his name
Throughout the Commonwealth putting turtles to shame
No longer just for football, Turtleman drinks Gatoraide
At turtle dash man dot come, he getting paid
The newest member of the Justice League is Turtleman
Chorus:
Turtleman, He's the turtleman
He be cleaning out them ponds, city folk think he going insane
Dang...dang... dang... diggy-dang
That's what you'll be saying when you watch the Turtleman
1 Turtle 2 Turtle 3 Turtle 4
Swimming in the ponds where there is turtles galore
Down under the water, picking them up off the pond floor
With his bare hands until there ain't no more
Turtles... yeah, cause that's how he roles
Yelling "whew-eh!" out the window cause his horn won't blow
No signs of life here, to the next pond he goes
You went fishing when you was a kid? So
He caught his first snapper at the age of seven
His dad threw him in a pond, and he was in turtle heaven
just over an hour - had his first turtle out
Ernie Brown Jr. was a prodigy no doubt
Fast forward, now bagging 300 a year
bit over 20 times, but he don't care
Because from June to October, Turtleman is after em
How does he get his power? Just ask em...
Chorus:
Trying not to smile, but there's nothing wrong
It's just that he knocked his teeth out with a chainsaw
But he can still eat em...hmm snapperlicious
7 kinds of meet and you know they nutritious.
Steak, beef, roast, the tenderloin is the best
If you're on a diet there is fish in it's neck
But mostly he's moving turtles from pond ot pond
Preventing snappers from doing the cows harm
And that's why his fame is growing world wide
People watching him on YouTube taking turtles for rides
"Look at him bouncing!" Yeah, but it's not him doing it
it's the turtle underneath that's got him moving it
Kindly like this song is you
I guess that you could say that this is a turtle groove
"Yo Joke! What do you think he does in the winter?"
Wouldn't be surprised if he was training with Splinter!
Track Name: Gold Zone
6. Gold Zone
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Bobby Perry

Chorus:
We living in the Gold Zone X4 (I want the gold)
Yo we work for FCA in an area office
We be a 501c3 non-profit
And in order to get paid yo we got to raise it
Headquarters got colors just to tell if we can make it
For example, they got this warning system
You in the "Red Zone" the home office be dissing
Send you a letter saying "boy you better listen
Get some donations or the curb you be hitting"
The "Green Zone" that's where most wanna be
Got enough cash to focus on the ministry
You in the green, that means you'll be alright
You're feeling good getting sleep at night
Red and green used to be all there be
Until The J-o-k-e jumped onto the scene
They were tracking our funds out in KC
And had to make a whole new category
We in the Gold Zone
Chorus:
Watching MSNBC the Dow going down
Ain’t effecting me as I roll through town
To all my huddles in my pimped out ride
Got 24” rimes bumping system inside…
Out.. that's the 09 camp theme
All my homies lining up to join my Home Team
Used to be hated, now we getting calls from other staff
"Joke How did you get your bank? How did you get your cash?"
Collecting donations in all kinds of ways
Cash, property, gold, rollin 401Ks
Shoot… we even making bank from Steer
Selling cows in the KY like everywhere
You have a golf scramble, our event is better
The Joke doing concerts for FCA cheddar
And at our banquet, don't need no luck
So much cash had to hire and armored truck
Shoot dawg, money coming in from all directions
A donor just donated a brand new Lexus
Impress account filling up bigger than Texas
Excuse me, but Bill Gates is trying to text us
We in the Gold Zone
Chorus:
Recession? Don’t know what it mean
"Org" blowing up like Rambo III
We in the poorest state but you wouldn’t know it
Log onto fcagear.com with cash just to blow it
Cause we the richest staff in all of FCA
We redefined “One Way 2 Play!” (holla!)
Yeah, living large in the KY
Trading our T's for Armani suits and ties
We don't lie, cause this be the truth
Need an umbrella for the raining loot
Kentucky Staff? If ya feel me say hey
We just auctioned off Leon on Ebay
We in the Gold Zone
Track Name: Smoke Machine (feat. G-Lova)
7. Smoke Machine
Words and Music by Inside Joke
Additional Vocals by G-Lova

It was the day after Halloween, the store had a sale
Cassius called me up said he found the Holly Grail
Well not exactly, but it's the next best thing
One for $10, yo it's a smoke machine!
I hopped in the car, got there as fast as I could
"Should We Get 2?" Yeah I think we should
Took them home--only one worked
But that's all we need to get the crowd bazerk
And that's what happened at our next show
The smoke came out and we bust out the door
Onto the stage, as if it was as on fire
Ski goggles to keep the smoke out of our eyes
As the smoke machine spit smoke with all its might
You'd thought we'd lit up a case of Marlboro Lights
Put the mic to my mouth and started to flow
Spitting mad lyrics through the fog and the smoke
Yeah, you couldn't see me though
Oxygen mask needed for folks on the front row
So much smoke filling up the stage
We caused Bill Meck to send out a fog delay.
Chorus:
Inside Joke moving onto the scene
Got the crowd hype with his smoke machine
All the ladies/fellas let me hear you scream (hey)
It's a smoke machine
Before we rock the mic we just flip the switch
Smoke fills up the stage like crime at Myrill Lynch
As I walk onto stage I can hardly breath
As the smoke from the machine starts to engulf me
And that's the way we like it, you best believe
That The Joke and Cassius Clay got a show to bring
To accompany our rhymes, this smoke machine is mine
Producing more smoke than Mamaw's kitchen at Christmastime
Uhh... You know we be bringing the smoke
Ain't no need to worry, we ain't taking a toke
Cause with this smoke machine, who needs weed?
The smoke smells better and it's safer to breath
Yeah! At least we're hoping so!
Our tour got more coffin than a funeral home
And we ain't gonna change, yeah you gonna choke
With this smoke machine, Cassius Clay, and Inside Joke
Chorus:
After our set, all the ladies in tears
Was it the smoke in their eyes or the base in their ears?
Not really sure, but what I do know
Is that they're all lining up begging for some more
So we bring this smoke machine to every show
Fill it up with fluid, hit the switch and watch it go
Until the stage is all filled
And all the people gasping for air and their tears start to spill
Now everybody in the biz trying to copy
From Kanye to Diddy, the rock group Daughtry
Now everybody has got to have smoke on their stage
And it's all because of me partner Cassius Clay
But you and me, we know who was first
We the boys that teach'em how the smoke machine works
And each and every show, class is in session
The more smoke the better--there's your first lesson...fool!
Track Name: The Jesus Cheer
8. The Jesus Cheer
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Bobby Perry and Inside Joke

Back in college when I rolled wit The Cats
We used to get the crowd going, until they was going whack
From chanting cheers, people getting hype
From The Fight Song, to yelling "Blue and White"
"Go Big Blue" was a big cheer at UK
But spelling CATS was the crowd fave
C-a-t-s
Was the "Y" in Kentucky, along with the best
It's all good, until my life got rearranged,
Heard a new cheer, went and changed my team
With my new team, came a new cheer
To let you know who I love, got to make it clear
So get ready, buckle up, we going on ride
Gonna teach you a new cheer that make you come alive
Yeah, you think Rupp can get loud?
Just wait till you hear His warriors shout
Chorus:
(Give me a J) J - you got your J you got your J
(Give me an E) E - you got your E you got your E
(Give me and S) S - you got your S you got your S
(Give me a U) U - you got your U you got your U
(give me a S) S - you got your S you got your S
What's the spell? Jesus
Who's the King? Jesus
Who's the Lord? Jesus
He's the one that frees us!
Cheering for sports, but sports won't bleed
So I'm cheering for Jesus cause he died for me
Make noise for my team, but for Him i'll scream
Called out His name and he set me free
Yeah, done been redeemed!
Spelling Jesus, cause i can't spell Elohim
or El Shaddai or Adonai
Praise Him so loud set the church on fire
Shoot dawg, He invented sports
Even made the wood, that goes on the courts
Making me wanna get delirious
Too many up in the pews acting all serious
While Florida fans be doing the Gator Chomp
Tennessee fans singing Rocky Top
The Braves cheer with the Tomahawk Chop
And the best we do is ring a bell on a rooftop?
Well not anymore, because we raising the roof
We'll be singing "We will Rock You!"
While "We Are Marshall" some may say
"We Are Disciples," Can you give a J?
Chorus:
You might call this a Jock Jam
But it's more like praise to the Grate I Am
The Lion of Judah, known as The Lamb
Blowing His name like the horn of ram
Time out, folks getting up for YMCA
But we shouting out the name above all names
Yeah, any time of the day
Because there's only one name by which man might be saved
You know it, and that name is Jesus
Ain't ashamed of his name, because his name frees us
While the world's trying to deceive us
Getting us more pumped about sports than about Jesus
It' ain't that he needs us
Cause he can make the rocks cry out if he pleases
But that ain't gonna happen, uh uh no way
Cause all his peeps on their feet to say
2 Bits...
Track Name: Boston
9. Boston
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Bobby Perry

I knew when I met you I should have left you alone
Its been seven years now and you don't come home
Up all night and you sleep all day
At night is it all pleasure and all play?
While I'm sleeping in the bed baby
Chorus:
Where are you going when i let you out at night (x4)
Is it true you got another lover across the street?
Cause if you do then maybe there you should eat (spend their money)
You used to give me some love and affection (when our love was new)
Now you're acting so crazy that you can only live in sections
Of the house and it's not the bedroom baby!
Chorus:
Where are you going when I let you go out at night?
Envision you and Mouse living the night life
We got a checkered past, but that don't make it right
Sometimes wondering if you're doing it just to spite
Me, yeah and all that we had
You cut the cheese on me, but still took you to my pad
I changed up your food, when the food was bad
Trying to figure out what has made you mad
Could it be, be cause we got you fixed?
But you knew going in we wouldn't have no kids
Or perhaps its because we tried to toilet train you?
It's just I thought that was best given the stank upanya
So now here we are, you'd rather be in that house
Getting more love from Marshall and Mouse
We'll I'm fine with that, look at the cost your costing
So long see you later have a good one Boston...
Chorus:
Laying in the bed turning and tossing
While your outside flossy flossing
Boston look at the cost that you're costing
Boston, Boston yeah...
Track Name: Down With Brotally (feat. Double Deez and Cassius Clay)
10. Down With Brotally
Words and Music by Inside Joke
Additional Vocals by Double Deez and Cassius Clay

Driving through Iowa in the winter of 04
Wertz had Beh out on his tour
In a old van, down came da snow
Wertz said "totally" after Beh said "bro"
Beh repeated bro, followed by wertz's totally
after minutes of repetition, Wertz said "brotally"
"Brotally?" is what Beh said
"Brotally!" said Wertz as he shook his head
At first they were unsure, but they said again
Beh and Wertz were becoming close friends
As they said "brotally" till 6 in da morn
Everybody knew, yo, this word was born
Now five years have passed and broats be all around
so many using the word like in surround sound
You not broat, just say the word for awhile
Next thing you know you living the lifestyle
Chorus:
Down with brotally
(Worldwide Inc., got my "T", can't you see the hunnies looking at me)
Down with brotally
(Worldwide Inc., and that's why the 50 is coming after me)
Brow brow brow your broat, gently down the stream
Brotally brotally brotally brotally, you be saying brotally in your dreams
Like the dream of Dr. Martin Luther King, I believe
Brotally bringing all types of peeps up onto the scene
Black, white, yellow, red, brown he don't care
The brotal lifestyle be for people everywhere
All the hispanic broats rollin through town sayin "holla"
Low ridding, drinking a diet broka-brolla
Don't matter if you broke or a high rolla
Age 99 or riding in a stroller
Everybody signing up to be a broat
Obama met brotally then he got "hope"
This beat so cold, Hawaiian girls need a coat,
I guess from now on you can call me "Inside Broat"
Chorus:
Brotally, that's what I be
Hailing from the University of Kentucky
Wanna be broat? Time to listen to me
I'll teach you how to add the word to your vocabulary
First you say the word "bro". then say the word "totally"
Say em together real quick and out comes "brotally"
Walk up to some someone, say in a grocery
Pick up a banana and yell out "brotally"
And when they stair at you, smile with confidence
Say it again, this is no pretense
Then yell it a third time, like there a car you're waxing
Then a fourth time like a fax that you're faxing
"That don't make sense"... Man I know
I think i'm becoming intoxicated from saying the word bro
T-a-l-l-y
Got a brotal buzz that got me feeling high
Better than a high from Colt 45
You be crazy after brotally when before you were shy
Take it from me, start using the word, give it a try
Cuz I's brotally when I was born and I'll be brotally when I die
Chorus:
Have you ever met Brotally? He's a person?
Yeah dog most speculate he's a Duerson
But more than a person brotally is a lifestyle
Identified by a shirt that comes in various colors and styles
Yeah, they selling, no time to blink
Mad cash rolling in to Brotally Worldwide Inc.
You know Beh even got one that will fit yo mom
Just head on over to www.brotally.com (holla!)
Track Name: Carpet On Ya Chest (Ronald Jenkees Remix to a Remix)
11. Carpet On Ya Chest (Ronald Jenkees Remix to a Remix)
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Ronald Jenkees

"Remix to a Remix" appears on Ronald Jenkees self titled album. Song was used with permission from the master himself.
Track Name: BONUS The Fox Song
12. The Fox Song
Words and Music by Inside Joke
Additional Vocals by Lady K

(This song was done for “The Fox” mascot for the San Antonio Silver Stars WNBA basketball team)

Chorus:
He's the Fox (You know that he rocks)
He's the Fox (All the haters he mocks)
He's the Fox (The vixens swarm in flocks)
(His skills, threads, and rhymes be tighter than Ft. Knox)
Tick Tick Tick Tick Tock
Time be running out cause here comes The Fox
Vertical so high he's the king of blocks
So many balls in your face you'll need botox
Yeah... this fox be cleaning clocks
Moves so fast he don't need no shox
All the ladies love him from Brondello to Goldie Lox
He's the reason for the Silver Stars rising stocks
(Holla!) At home The stars be a winner
With The Fox busting moves in The AT&T Center
He be the baddest fox pound for pound
He be the fox that chased away the hounds
"Where to?" Right into a fox hole
Stole the ball headed straight for the goal
Slam Dunk! Awe yeah! You know he will deliver
Who needs a gold fox, when platinum is silver?
Chorus:
F-o-x he's the king of Tex
Vixen start to faint when they see him flex
It don't matter that he got a carpet on his chest
He's skills been hypnotizing since the days of tape decks!
Yeah! Just check'em out o you tube
There's a reason this fox got over 5 million views
The Star Squad can't even keep up wit his groove
And that's not knocking them, cause neither can you (true).
So much skills when he on the court
The producers at Fox had to create Fox Sports
With his sagging shorts, The Fox be living large
"How Large?" from the floor up to the silver stars
And while this beat be breaking necks, The Fox be banking checks
Rolling four deep in a pimped out Lex
After a big win, back to his home
This fox's hole is in the heart of San Antone!
Track Name: BONUS Christmastime At Mamaw's (feat. Mamaw)
13. Christmastime At Mamaw's
Words by Inside Joke
Music by Bobby Perry and Inside Joke
Additional Vocals by Mamaw, Little G Lewis, and Emma Kat

It's Dec 25th, you know where i be
At Mamaw's celebrating Christmas wit my family
We got Tito, Jason, Andrea and Joey
Kristy, Double Deez, Cassius Clay, and Little G
Lady K, Jermaine, Kathy and B.B.
Emma, Kendy, Greenly, and Kateastrophe
Anticipating what's under the Christmas Tree
But before we open presents, it's time to eat
Mamaw be making sure everybody stuffed
Having no concept of when enough is enough
"Heres another biscuit" I done had five!
"you'll need some more grave" Mamaw i don't wanna die!
Mamaw just can't take now for an answer
Done ate enough to stuff Prancer and Dancer
Start to get up "That's all you're gonna eat?"
My gut looking swoll from the eggs and meat
But I eat some more, what can I say?
Even though its the first of three meals this day
Eating all dis fried food that Mamaw made
Da kids begging to get up so that they can play
Mamaw fills my plate, Christmas tunes in the background
Mistletoe and holly be hanging all around
Smoke from the kitchen reminds me of a club
Mamaw giving out lots of Christmas Love
Chorus:
Giving lots of love the Christmas. Just you wait and see
I've got lots of surprises underneath the tree
After breakfast, you know what time it is
This be when the show really begins
Underneath the tree there be all kinds of surprises
Got me on edge wondering what mine is
Reminiscing of her past gifts
Like the pecan log roll and potato chip clips
Or perhaps another chirping bird clock
And a Spaghetti Strainer from the Mini Malls overstock
One time she gave me up a plastic egg tray
And got matching bath towels for me, Deez and Cassius Clay
When I was ten, Mamaw wrapped me up a pound a bacon
There's no telling how many blankets she be making
An each December when it starts to get cold
Got me thinking bout the year she got me a rooster snow globe
Not to mention the gift in the egg nog
With gifts like these, who needs a yule log?
Chorus:
So now the time has come to see what Mamaw gave
Trying to focus on the real meaning of this day
Opened up the present, I'm stunned and amazed
With a gift like this what was I to say?
In high school, Mamaw got me some santa briefs
But i could wear those when all my others weren't clean
But this... ain't no way I'm putting these on
Mamaw got me a male candy cane Christmas thong!