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The Turtleman Rap

from Feels Like Love by Inside Joke

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5. The Turtleman Rap
Words and Music by Inside Joke
Additional Words by Ernie Brown Jr. (The Turtleman)

Let me tell you about Kentucky's best kept secret
The Turtle Man's a man you have got to see to believe it
He's one quarter Shawnee, one quarter Cherokee,
One quarter Confederate, the last quarter Yankee
People think he's crazy but they can't help but like him
No drugs or alcohol will you find inside of him
Yet he still will be crawling around up in slimy ponds
Kindly like a sight using his arm as a magic wand
Arm extended, looking for bubbles in the water
Soon as he find em, man he be on em
Catching snappers his his game, KY Afield brought him fame
Got everybody in the nation knowing his name
Throughout the Commonwealth putting turtles to shame
No longer just for football, Turtleman drinks Gatoraide
At turtle dash man dot come, he getting paid
The newest member of the Justice League is Turtleman
Turtleman, He's the turtleman
He be cleaning out them ponds, city folk think he going insane
Dang...dang... dang... diggy-dang
That's what you'll be saying when you watch the Turtleman
1 Turtle 2 Turtle 3 Turtle 4
Swimming in the ponds where there is turtles galore
Down under the water, picking them up off the pond floor
With his bare hands until there ain't no more
Turtles... yeah, cause that's how he roles
Yelling "whew-eh!" out the window cause his horn won't blow
No signs of life here, to the next pond he goes
You went fishing when you was a kid? So
He caught his first snapper at the age of seven
His dad threw him in a pond, and he was in turtle heaven
just over an hour - had his first turtle out
Ernie Brown Jr. was a prodigy no doubt
Fast forward, now bagging 300 a year
bit over 20 times, but he don't care
Because from June to October, Turtleman is after em
How does he get his power? Just ask em...
Trying not to smile, but there's nothing wrong
It's just that he knocked his teeth out with a chainsaw
But he can still eat em...hmm snapperlicious
7 kinds of meet and you know they nutritious.
Steak, beef, roast, the tenderloin is the best
If you're on a diet there is fish in it's neck
But mostly he's moving turtles from pond ot pond
Preventing snappers from doing the cows harm
And that's why his fame is growing world wide
People watching him on YouTube taking turtles for rides
"Look at him bouncing!" Yeah, but it's not him doing it
it's the turtle underneath that's got him moving it
Kindly like this song is you
I guess that you could say that this is a turtle groove
"Yo Joke! What do you think he does in the winter?"
Wouldn't be surprised if he was training with Splinter!


from Feels Like Love, released June 1, 2009


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Inside Joke Lexington, Kentucky

What started out as an "inside joke" has turned into a world-wide movement... sort of. From Lexington, KY, Inside Joke takes rap music back to the days when it was fun, made you dance, and actually rhymed! At the same time, Inside Joke brings a new school vibe, spirituality at times, and a little country grammar to boot! ... more

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